Totally OT ... human list ...

sorry for the Off-Topic post ... but this subject is just too good to pass up ...

want to talk to a human instead of a machine? ... this is a list that I've personally wanted for a very long time ...

CBS News article

the list

and I'll add this one that I've used for years ... whenever I call a plant and can't get through to the person I really need to talk to, I try to reach the "Shipping and Receiving" department ... it seems that there's always some nice old guy back there who knows EVERYBODY in the plant ... and (unlike the snotty receptionist) he doesn't mind giving you their direct-dial extension numbers either ...

Fantastic.

Contrary to the PR claims, voicemail and automated phone services do NOT improve productivity. In actuality they simply steal productivity from the caller and give it, momentarily, to the company being called.

I hope there is a special level of hell reserved for the people who developed automated phone answering!

What is even more maddening is to be hung up on. My cable company (Adelphia) will let the phone ring for about 45 seconds or so. If a customer service rep hasn't answered by then the voice says, "We cannot answer your call at this time. We would like to apologize for any inconvenience." Then the system hangs up. Arrggghhhh!!!!!!!!

Some yeare back we installed a new phone system. So I'm out of the office and call in on my cell to talk to our dispather, and very quickly hit the roof. When I got through pushing buttons and got a live person in MY OWN office, my 1st demand was to disconnect the auto-answer/voice mail feature. About an hour later I explicetly explained to everybody that under no circumstances will somebody call this org, and not be greeted by a live human being. Never Ever!

I don't know how it could be done, but if you want to be richer than Bill Gates, come up with a method where telemarketer calls (both the recorded and the semi-human variety) get routed to automatic answering limbo and calls from humans get routed to other humans who speak the same language.

Another tip, don't hit any button. The system will assume you don't have touch tone and route you to a human.

Don

My two best experiences on this both involve GE.

1) The first time I experienced a lesson on "cutbacks", it was while dealing with a GE lightbulb engineering group. GE felt it was better to let each engineer get his own answering machine instead of paying a high school co-op $4 an hour to answer phones and take messages. (This was in the early 80's.) By not being able to reach an engineer, projects stalled for days and machines did not get built or delivered on time. That's economics for you.

2) About seven years ago, I had a big 90-30 PLC project. Back then, tech support for GE originated by calling an 800 number. The selection "tree" routed you potentially to every product GE made. (Yes, light bulbs, vacuum cleaners...ad nauseum.) It took you nine or ten selections to get anywhere near the PLC tech support department. Then the best: If you made a certain selection, you got in an endless loop of selections with "hanging up" being your best option.

I just hit 'zero' and tell the operator "I'm returning an emergency call".

It beats dialing '666' !!

"If you know your party's extention, please dial it now - beep, beep, boop, beep - "Hi, I'm on another line or or not at my desk now. If you would leave a message I'll get back to you when I get through BS'ing with the other people who aren't working either" ".
Back to the operator, "Page him please, it's important"

It's a good thing I can't reach through the phone and...

I realize that I only charge a zillion dollars an hour trying to repair my customer's machine that, if not repaired soon, will require that 240 people will be layed-off until it is running.
No stress on my part and obviously no stress on the 'support people' either. Sheeesh!

I applaud Mike's solution.

Rod (The CNC Dude)

elevmike said:

.... under no circumstances will somebody call this org, and not be greeted by a live human being. Never Ever!

Click to expand...

We do not have voice mail either. Sometimes I don't take calls, but during normal business hours it is always a real live human being answering the phone.

donl517 said:

Another tip, don't hit any button. The system will assume you don't have touch tone and route you to a human.

Don

Click to expand...

I've actually tried that with one company before (can't remember who right now) and the message told me "If you do not have a touch tone phone, please call from one. We are not able to take your call without one"

HI,

I refer to the automated telephone system at my place of employment as the "Telephone Firewall".
BD