Program naming conventions

The other day I went to a new customer that wanted some small upgrades to a lot of machines.
They used to have an electrician that programmed their machines but he left.
However, they still had his company laptop with all the programs on and software. (they also wanted a reduction in the hourly rate because of this - but that didn't happen)

A lot of the machines were almost identical and were all refered to as 'hand assemblers' No numbers or brand just hand assemblers. The programs all varied slightly, timings and different sized product etc so I was not liking the thought that I would have to compare every program on the laptop until I hit the right one.

But when I went to 'open project' I had to laugh. There were hundreds of programs called 'hand assembler' but they all had a name after this. Not the name of the operative but a monicker for the operative.
ie 'hand assembler Elvis Version 4' I looked around and sure enough an operative looked like Elvis. I tested this program on the machine and it was a match.
The next was tele-tubbie and I found that one too.
Yul Brinner was too easy
Tuna pizza face, I had to ask someone discretely (I'm not making these up honest) The poor man had obviously had very bad acne in his youth and his skin was a mess.
Liberace had me in tucks, he was a dead ringer
so was Eddie Murphy.
I thought it must be Charles Bronsons day off until I was told it meant the notorious English criminal, not the film star.

But the funniest program I found was entitled 'Flip over machine that Bob f.u**cked up but I mended.

Too bad you didn't get to meet that electrician.

That's pretty funny Goody. I also have been to a customer, only 2 machines to look at though. I used their maintenance laptop as mine was still in the car about half a mile walk from the machines. I found the programes easily because they were the only mitsi machines in the plant, they were titled NFG1 and NFG2, upon inquiring what NFG stood for, I was told. "It's No Fu**ing Good 1 and No Fu**ing Good 2". Made me laugh as well.

My favorites are "new program" or "ML1500" etc.

Gotta have a time stamp on it at the very least.

Goody, that is one of the all time funniest true humor in engineering stories I have ever heard.

Oh I've never had as much stiffled laugher as the days I was there.
I went to one machine and as I was plugging in, I studied the operative. He looked like a perfectly normal man with no outstanding features.
Then he smiled at me and I saw every other tooth was black.
Ah, I thought this will be piano keys, I was wondering about that one.

There was Omar Shariff, Mr Universe and big ears but another I couldn't decypher was 'fiddler crab' It turns out this was the only woman operative and she had a normal left arm and a huge muscular right arm through years of inserting the product into the machine.

I kept the laptop screen away from the operatives as the title was emblazoned across the top of the screen.

This is without doubt the funniest thread I've read on this forum.

Bravo old boy!

Hilarious

This gave me a good laugh...

Oh boy! Still laughing!

Thanks, Goody
I have tears from laughing..That guys must be a real card. I have to give you credit for having "stifled laughter", I would have blown it for sure.

-tommy23t

oh my god - never would have thought researching 'Program naming conventions' would turn up this comedy gold

Maybe Goody can tell us if he discretely changed the names.

PeterW said:

Maybe Goody can tell us if he discretely changed the names.

Click to expand...

No I didn't - apart from incrementing the version No.

Been back a few times since; worked on 'Shampoo's' machine and Popeye's

"fiddler crab" that had me dying of laughter, this electrician deserves an award!!