OT A Friday funny

geniusintraining said:

and.... Your spouse sends you an email instead of calling you to dinner <---not for dinner, she says come home...

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Mine sends me emails and texts all the time, i have stopped responding to emails, thinking of turning my phone off now!

Binaural said:

• You start to wonder if there is a pattern to your girlfriend's behaviour

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There is no pattern, they all come from a different planet !!

504bloke said:

There is no pattern, they all come from a different planet !!

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Havent you heard of chaos theroy? Everything has a pattern of sorts. The pattern is: that they are in constant & deterministic chaos.

elevmike said:

Havent you heard of chaos theroy? Everything has a pattern of sorts. The pattern is: that they are in constant & deterministic chaos.

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And here I thought they were just air-headed.

elevmike said:

Havent you heard of chaos theroy? Everything has a pattern of sorts. The pattern is: that they are in constant & deterministic chaos.

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I have got to learn about the chaos theory one of these days.

Some of my favorite engineer jokes. Note, this is totally and completely different from engineers that ARE jokes. I don't like any of them very much at all.

To an optimist, the glass is half full, to a pessimist, the glass is half empty, to an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

In a university study, they asked teams from the Math, Engineering and Liberal arts departments the following question. Are all odd numbers prime, prove your answer.
The mathmetians answered: well, 1 is odd, and its prime, 3 is odd and its prime, 5 is odd and its prime, 7 is odd and its prime, but, 9 is odd and it is not prime, therefore all odd numbers are NOT prime.
The Engineers answered: well, 1 is odd, and its prime, 3 is odd and its prime, 5 is odd and its prime, 7 is odd and its prime, 9 is odd and it is not prime, 11 is odd and its prime, 13 is odd and its prime, 15 is odd and its not prime, 17 is odd and its prime, and 19 is odd and its prime. Therefore all odd numbers are prime, and 9 and 15 are statistical anomolies.
The Liberal Arts kids answered: Yes, all odd numbers are prime. 1 is odd, and its prime, 2 is odd and its prime, 3 is odd and its prime, 4 is odd ...

A bunch of engineers were at a conference telling jokes. One stands up and goes "Number 45!", and they all bust out laughing. Another stands and says, "Number 105", and the room erupts. Another one, goes, "Number 15", and there is some snorting heard. Then, one stands and says, "Num nu number fift, no thirty umm forty, no, six .... teen?" Silence. One engineer turns to another and says, "Poor Jim, he never could tell a joke"


-jeff

Tharon said:

And that reminds me of:

"There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who have friends."

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Speaking of that, when a newbie programmer comes in, the first thing we do is ask him how high he can count on one hand. Then we tell him he may begin his training when he figures out how to get to 31. Usually takes a day or 2 before they come back and ask how to do it.


-jeff

Hakutsuru said:

Speaking of that, when a newbie programmer comes in, the first thing we do is ask him how high he can count on one hand. Then we tell him he may begin his training when he figures out how to get to 31. Usually takes a day or 2 before they come back and ask how to do it.
-jeff

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The problem with this is when you come to 4, it usually results in an argument with others in the room.

Hakutsuru said:

The mathmetians answered: well, 1 is odd, and its prime, 3 is odd and its prime, 5 is odd and its prime, 7 is odd and its prime, but, 9 is odd and it is not prime, therefore all odd numbers are NOT prime.

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I belive they'd rather say: 'NOT all odd numbers are prime'.

Sorry for this. I used to study maths, before I decided to pursue an engineering career

Engineer vs. Manager

A man in a hot air balloon realizing he was lost reduced altitude to see if he could spot anyone to ask directions.

After a while he spotted a man below and shouted "excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend that I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and 59 and 60 degrees west longitude"

"You must be an engineer!" said the balloonist.

"I am!" replied the man "how did you know?" he asked.

"Well," said the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to do with the information, and the fact is, I am still lost and you are no help whatsoever!"

The man below responded "and you must be a manager"

"I am!" replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"

"Well" said the man, " you don't know where you are or have any idea where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large amount of hot air. You have made a promise that you have no idea on how to keep. And you expect people below to solve your problems for you. The fact is that you are in exactly the same position that you were before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"

Okie - One of my favorite mentors used to tell a less elaborate version of that joke. I haven't even thought of it for years. Thanks for bringing it up.

The problem with this is when you come to 4, it usually results in an argument with others in the room.

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Nice!
I had to start counting to get the visual on that.

Mchl said:

I belive they'd rather say: 'NOT all odd numbers are prime'.

Sorry for this. I used to study maths, before I decided to pursue an engineering career

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Whats the difference in the two sentences? I don't mind being corrected, but I like to understand where I made my mistake.

-jeff

The statement "All odd numbers are not prime" could be interpreted as meaning that none of the odd numbers are prime. Saying "Not all odd numbers are prime" is less ambiguous. Mathemeticians strive to eliminate ambiguity.

I'm confused, what's this girlfriend unit you guys are talking about?

harryting said:

I'm confused, what's this girlfriend unit you guys are talking about?

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As I understand it, there are a couple of different versions. I believe the most popular models are made by microsoft. Thats probably the one they are talking about. Coming from M$ you can imagine the sorts of problems they have.

Now for my part, I prefer the open source girlfriends. But YMMV.


-jeff