Back to the cat
Hmmm... I've been doing some further reading and research on the cat/toast-powered system which was introduced at post #178 (my, wasn't that a long time ago?) and it appears there's a lot more to this than I knew at the time. Above all, it must be good science because I've discovered someone has worked out a formula for it. And if that ain't proof then what is?
Apparently one of the breakthroughs in research was that the toast was unnecessary. A number of other materials were tested (crackers, bread, etc) and it was found that the principle held true regardless of the butter substrate. This led to the development of the first DBC (directly buttered cat) which eliminated variability in toast attachment, area etc.
Obviously the fine balance between the cat and the butter hitting the floor first was dependent on the floor covering as well. For example an easily cleaned surface lifted the butter-first probability undesirably. Similarly it was found that the applied substance didn't have to be butter. Other materials with higher and lower affinities for the floor were developed and tested. Taking the floor covering to be a general carpet material of some sort produced the core formula -
P = Sp * (Ts / Tc)
where the variables are -
P = probability of substance impacting the carpet first
Sp = Permanent Stain Index of chosen substance
Ts = Tone Index of substance
Tc = Tone Index of carpet
'Sp' is a normalised value and natural values vary considerably. Chilli Con Carne, Chicken Tikka Massala and bitumen have all been tested with high Sp. Distilled water has an Sp of zero. No substances have yet been discovered with negative Sp.
The two T characteristics are also important. Although Chilli Con Carne has a high Sp, applying this to a similarly toned carpet produces a weak field effect. The resulting stain is not sufficiently obvious or permanent.
Since cats always land on their feet, we need to ensure that the 'P' in this equation is as high as possible to ensure the perfect balance.
So far, the lowest Tc has been measured in pure-white virgin lambs-wool carpeting. Among the several candidates for highest Ts, we may choose the Chilli or Chicken Tikka. It has actually been found that some substances (like bitumen, axle grease, or canine excrement) which would appear to have better Ts potential actually lose out due to their texture and consistency: they do not spread sufficiently and are too well behaved in a spill. Chilli and Chicken Tikka have been found to have excellent scatter characteristics which enhances their Ts rating.
So now we have it. Cats smeared with chilli being dropped on to white carpets. It's the future boys, and you'd better get used to it.
Ken
