OT: Excuses for being late for work

Many years ago I had an ex Navy boss who foolishly said "If I haven't heard it before, I'll accept it".

Within a week one of my colleagues "had an insect bite on his toe, so couldn't get his safety boots on".

This was beaten today by one of my new colleagues, who was nearly 2 hours late because, "The battery was low in my key fob" - presumably the central locking to his elderly Nissan.

This low battery also stopped him going back into his house, picking up the phone and telling anyone he would be late to! (You could walk it in 45 minutes)

Any better excuses?

Many years ago. My helper called in to say that he couldn't come in today because his socks were wet!

On another note:
When I was in the United States Navy, my best friend and I were in an automobile accident on the way back to the ship. We were late and got placed on report. When we explained the circumstances to the executive office, his reply was:
" You should have left early enough to have an accident and still get here on time".

We did not have to go see the Captain, but did "volunteer" for 5 days of extra duty.

When I was in Navy we had a guy who was running late for a startup and got caught speeding. He told the cop I am on a nuclear submarine and the reactor is going critical. So the cop had him follow escorted him thru the gate lights and siren.

Dan Bentler

OMG, the reactor is going critical!!!

I got a laugh. What did the Engineer and XO say about that?

They thought it was funny.

Dan Bentler

I once had an employee who went out partying one night and apparently had WAY too much fun 'til WAY past closing time...

I was obliviously waiting for him to get to my house the next morning so I could send him on an important service call. I watched and waited and watched some more. I had a great view of the driveway and he didn't come and didn't come, so I reluctantly decided to go do the service call myself.

I walked out to my truck and there he was, parked out of view, under my oak tree, passed out cold in his company truck. I surmised that he drove there after his night out, without going home.

I woke him up to find him with bloodshot, blurry eyes, swill of breath, slur of speech, and with empty beer cans strewn around in his COMPANY truck.

As you can imagine, I began ENTHUSIASTICALLY sharing my HUMBLE OPINION with him. His reply?

" HEY, ish not MY fault you dint come outshide in time to wake me up! I wazzzzz HERE!"


Not for long,

Stationmaster

Many years ago we had a guy show up to work about 5 minutes late his excuse was I got stopped by the train. The boss knew this guy lived 4 blocks down from the shop. The train tracks are 6 blocks from the shop. The boss went on his way until lunch then it clicked "He lives on this side of the tracks!!! That mother@$!%&" It was classis moment around the lunch room tables.

A few years ago I was commissioning a Water Treatment Plant in Shanghia. Traffic was always a nightmare. One day we were stuck in traffic as usual. One of my work-mates (another aussie) had finally had enough, he got out of teh car and marched up to the policeman on traffic duty at the intersection about 50 meters ahead. I could see him pointing at his watch, at us and in the direction of the plant. After about 5 minutes of this he walsk back to the car. Then the Policeman stops all traffic and directs us and only us to prceed thru the intersection. Apparently my work-mate had "explained" to the policeman that we were working on a very special project for the Government and if we were late for work he (the policeman) would have to explain to his superiors why.