Misc question - feeling burned out from work, any advice?

[slick_william]

Hey guys,

Sorry that this isn't a strictly technical question. It's more related to work-life balance and time management. Hopefully some veterans from the forum could share some of their wisdom.

I am a pretty strong programmer when it comes to a few platforms... my company has put me solo on one of our largest projects and I have been handling it quite well for a few years. It is nearly finished at this point.

The problem is, I tend to overwork and overcommit, which leaves less time for my actual (non-work) life. This is a double-edged sword, because I finish nearly all my projects on time and do a great job, but then I sacrifice my own time to make that happen. It's not a big deal when it's for a couple weeks, but when it's for months on end of 60+ hours week, working 7 days a week and whatnot I can only keep that up for so long until my mood and energy kind of go into the crapper.

I think I need to set some rules as to how many hours a week I can work, and if I have to go beyond that then it needs to only be for exceptional cases and for very limited time. I guess I need to learn to let things be incomplete, and kind of let parts of the project burn if needed because I can't do everything, and I spent a few years at my company building my reputation, but keeping up the long hours is taking its toll and it's very noticeable to me and I guess I need to do something different.

Has anyone experienced something similar? And if so have you come up with tips or tricks on how to set a clear work-life boundary and still be successful with your work?

Thanks for your time, best of luck to you all on your PLC programming adventures.

W

 

[hardaysknight]

I feel you. I was basically in the same position you were. I would promise myself I'd back off a little, but then projects and issues would arise and I'd be right back at it. The only thing I could do was change jobs.

 

[Aardwizz]

The word "No" is surprisingly effective. And it doesn't have the nasty ramifications to your career that you might fear it does.

Bosses are always playing that game, asking if you can do more with less. Not demanding it, "just asking". So that they don't feel any guilt, because you "volunteered".

They play it in other ways, too:
Boss: "How long will this task take."
You: (Think for a moment) "Three weeks."
Boss: "We need it be done in two."

You: (Thinking, hopefully not out loud "Then why did you even ASK me?"). But if you have something like Professional Pride, or Loyalty, you'll start trying to come up with ways to cut corners / make sacrifices to make the deadline. Sometimes personal sacrifices.

Long story short: you don't need a work-life balance. You need a work-life firewall.

Think of it as a firewall, and be adamant about not letting any viruses through.

Full disclosure: I'm currently on an out-of-town field contract and have been out here for a year and a half. 2000 miles from home, so flights only once a month.
The first 6 months were fun; the next 6 months were interesting. But I'm thoroughly burned out myself. And have started saying, "No". But rather than losing the client, they're reworking the contract to include remote support so I can be at home (stuff you normally do on evenings and weekends at home have piled up, just like the junk mail).

 

[JasonTheSparky]

I feel you. I was basically in the same position you were. I would promise myself I'd back off a little, but then projects and issues would arise and I'd be right back at it. The only thing I could do was change jobs.

Been there. Tried that. Worked the 18- and 22-hour days to make it happen. At the end of the day, the only thing that changing jobs will do to help this is to set some fresh boundaries when jumping into something new. Once you get comfortable in the new job, the root issue will pop up and show its ugly head again.

Personally, I have found that accepting the fact that whatever company/position you find yourself in, there will always be more need than personal availability. I have a touch of OCD and the need for personal perfection. Many have the same need. We all want that "high" of knowing we knocked it out of the park, absolutely crushed a project and the gratification of a job well done; we did everything perfectly and got praises for it. The gratification disappears shortly after starting the next project and we find ourselves burning the candle from both ends again. If you think this is not the life you want, then you need to break the cycle. Find something worth breaking the cycle for...maybe yourself?

My guardrails happen to be my wife and my son. If I commit to the job more than to them, I equate it to choosing a drug over my family. Sounds like a bit of a stretch but in a way, to me, it is exactly that. For awhile, my marriage suffered and I missed some important moments being a dad. The kid grows up fast, and the wife can always find someone that WILL be around so I best be the man I ought to be. I work to live, not live to work.

 

[A_G]

You could try setting some boundaries at work like refusing to answer phone/email after hours. This may surprise some, and some may continue to push your boundaries, as they are used to you being always "available". In that case, it may be time to look for a new job and start fresh. You could also try to keep a private list of work priorities. Not your bosses or customer priorities but your own. Label things as hi and med and lo and do them in that order. That works for me. My personal story, I used to have workaholic tendencies, but about 5 years ago I had to deal with 3 serious safety issues at work, all three at different customer sites, and one involved a workplace fatality. After that, many work related things that I used to take seriously, I did not take seriously anymore. I find it hard to care very much about "deadlines" and anything work related that is not related to personal safety, which I do care about very much. Hopefully you never end up this kind of situation, but maybe you can try to take the attitude that safety is the most important, everything else is secondary. Focus on making your projects safe, everything else can wait.

 

[AustralIan]

In the Europe Union, it is illegal (for the employer) if you work more than 48 hours a week on average, and there are other requirements for minimum daily and weekly rest periods. If you're doing over 25% more than this, you should be asking yourself why you let your employer get away with it.

Do an honest project schedule for yourself working 40 hours, and ask your boss to fault your schedule. Make sure you include time for when weird problems arise, as they always do.

https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?qid=1414674219132&uri=CELEX:32003L0088

 

[Zimmer]

.... you should be asking yourself why you let your employer get away with it.

I ask myself this all the time, and then I remember that I am my employer.

 

[cardosocea]

I was in a similar position not long ago where I was doing a project and kept getting derailed at work and decided to finish it at home and felt burnt out after (particularly when you're saving the project manager's *** and get the fall out that it's not very good).



My decision was to be absolutely strict with the contracted hours. I'd arrive at the usual time and wouldn't stay a minute over the contracted hour limit. This meant that I refused meeetings that would fall outside of these hours or to do something for others. If the plant was in need, I'd stay over, but any time spent extra would be used in lieu in the next Friday to leave early or as it happened once, not come in at all.

Changing jobs is an option, but you have to set your boundaries from the start... and also listen to the old adage "a failure to plan from your end does not constitute an emergency on mine."

 

[mk42]

Long story short: you don't need a work-life balance. You need a work-life firewall.

2nd this. I try really hard to keep balance, and it's challenging from both sides.


I'm fortunate to have pretty flexible hours with minimal oversight, but that has upsides and downsides. On the work front, there is always more work to be done than actually can be, but it's amazing (frightening?) how much of it no one will notice/complain about if it just never happens. On the home front, there's always things that need doing, and if my wife had her way I'd only work about 25-30 hours a week.


I pretty much have to avoid flexing my time in either direction, and I stick as close to a rigid 9-5 as I can with no defined lunch. I start at 9 so I can walk my son to school, it's the only exercise I get, haha. ME TIME DANG NABBIT!

The problem is, I tend to overwork and overcommit, which leaves less time for my actual (non-work) life.

Usually burnout comes from 1 of 2 sources. Most common is that someone's employer won't take no for an answer, but next most common is that someone can't say no (whether to themselves or their boss). Worst case, it's both.


Case 1 can sometimes be fixed with a job change, but it's pretty endemic in the integration/project work space. You might need to change to a whole different job type (plant engineer, vendor/distributor support, etc) or even industry.


Case 2 requires a YOU change, which can be much harder. No is an amazing and powerful word, there's a reason that sales folks tend to avoid letting you say it.

 

[Jeev]

Burn-out is a common theme with commissioning staff members, for all the reasons already stated and more. I'm quickly approaching 20 years of everything being one last big push at the end, everything being due yesterday, everything being an emergency, or being the last guy on site trying to finish a job after everyone else has clocked off - And it has certainly taken its toll on my health the last 3 years. I encourage you to start making changes to your life before this point.

Personally, I have started by trying to make more space for my personal life, without feeling guilty. The first goal I have is not working more than 6 days a week or over 10 hours a day unless I choose otherwise.

You might also need to acknowledge that you are probably already going above and beyond even when you're "slacking", and your organisations' inability to allocated the necessary resources required to accomplish the deadline does not constitute a failing on your part. Just like poor planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on mine. Things I often have to remind myself of.

Look after yourself