O.T humour How many posters does it take to change a lightbulb.

[Manglemender]

And my favourite light bulb joke...

How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, it's a hardware problem.

Nick

 

[Paulus]

You forgot 5 to argue about the virtues of RSlightbulb vs Syslightbulb and one to chime in about CXlightbulb.

And three to point out that lightbulb-direct is far less expensive.

Excellent Alaric!
Now for Microsoft and the lightbulb...
Q: How many Bill Gates' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Q: How many Microsoft tech support people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be 4 or 5 things wrong. Have you tried the light switch?

Q: How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to hammer the bulb into a faucet.

Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many Microsoft testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just determine that the room is dark; we don't actually change the bulb. Since we have a dead-bulb result on file from a previous test, rest assured that Development is working on a bug fix.

Q: How many Microsoft shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the bulb in 7 to 10 working days. If you call before 2 PM, and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight. Don't forget to put your name in the upper right hand corner of the light bulb box.

Q: How many Microsoft managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to determine what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness as the new industry standard.

Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But they'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy as it would be for a Mac user.

 

[ToolGuyFred]

Here in the good old South Africa we dont care what they are called, with all the blackouts we have because of our energy supplier does not have enough capacity, we dont need them anymore and have reverted back to the good old candle.


Thanks guys, need a laugh in the morning

[OFF TOPIC]
Here in Nottingham we aren't allowed:
Blackouts
Black lists
Master and slave decks in an edit suite
Nitty gritty
Brain storm.

Local government have banned all these terms as either racist or politically incorrect. [/OFF TOPIC]

 

[wirepuller134]

Thanks everyone, this was well worth reading.

 

[rdrast]

Lightbulbs? Not at all!

Even more information!

 

[PGilbert]

You forgot 5 to argue about the virtues of RSlightbulb vs Syslightbulb and one to chime in about CXlightbulb.

And three to point out that lightbulb-direct is far less expensive.

Oh come on now - you've forgotten that with the release of RSLightBulb v.5.0 it is now FactoryTalk LightBulb - for your distributed, multi-user lighting system!

 

[Paulus]

Oh come on now - you've forgotten that with the release of RSLightBulb v.5.0 it is now FactoryTalk LightBulb - for your distributed, multi-user lighting system!

OK, here we go...
It's now CX-ONELightbulb
One Bulb, one connection, one blown fuse!

 

[Jeebs]

Lightbulbs? Not at all!

Even more information!

Now that was a very interesting read.

 

[briancr]

Lightbulbs? Not at all!

Even more information!

DARK SUCKERS VERY GOOD

 

[RussB]

What's a "lightbulb/light bulb"? The reps all sell us "lamps".

 

[harryting]

Ever heard of LED lightbulb?

 

[BudW]

Someone forgot to mention if they were incandescent (ant??) fluorescant, carbon arc, LED and whatever else I cant think of now.

AC incandescant lamps --
When I was on submarine we had this 17 year old report aboard. Leonard tried to be real salty to impress us "old salts" (on board a couple years and all of 23 and 24). So when he was sent to get a lite bulb I asked him if it was fluorescent or indancescent - he goes back to his chief (Max was a real salt - he had WW II combat patrol pins)
Leanard comes back "the kind you screw in"
I ask him AC or DC? Off he goes to see Max his chief.
Next thing I know is here is Max with Leonard in tow
")&^$#@^ Bentler give the kid a lite bulb and stop screwing around I need it for that *&)%$% droplight"
Leonard got his lightbulb.

Dan Bentler

Dan,

Red or Blue for night vision??

 

[TConnolly]

OK, here we go...
It's now CX-ONELightbulb
One Bulb, one connection, one blown fuse!

BBBuuuuuwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhh hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah

(ouch, me side hurts)

 

[leitmotif]

Bud
Red was used to allow better night vision.

Interesting that you mention blue. Never heard or seen blue used to improve preserve nite vision. Did a MS thesis on UV and blue lite emitted from weld arcs. On that I guess I am fairly knowledgable BUT on other aspects of blue and applications I must admit I am in the dark (yeah I know bad pun)

Have been told that police car flashers are blue to increase drivers ability to see them at a distance. Also have been told that in USA fire trucks are often painted lime green to improve their visibility at nite.

Dan

 

[briancr]

11pm at night, have just been called out of my nice warm bed to get an Omron CQM1H on the go again. Any way before I digress, in the days when I was doing my apprenticeship (when plc's were hard wired relay logic) a bulb was something that was placed in the ground and if you had green fingers it would become a flower (hopefully not a CX-rose)
Some called it a GLOBE - A term that I detest that as far as I was taught we lived on a globe, hopefully not STEPglobe
The correct way of saying the item on the ceiling is a lamp (maybe an ABlamp). The complete fixture is called a luminere. let us, before I step on any toes, hope it is not called a B&R luminere:beer:

EDIT

Just remembered, lamps do not give of light, it is the dark suckers that are the culprits