Way OT – Employer/Employee Conflict

[marius]

I've been working for one company before years, first job.... my boss was idiot, not the really stupid guy, but the guy in wrong place with wrong type of knowledge and good connections... he was messing up with everybody on lower ladder, .... one day i just leave... there's nothing worse than living in dumps, understand completely and doing nothing about it!

If you can't convince people with good work you're doing, company is not worthy of you, get out ... the 'way of leaving' is upon your decision

And the faith? Show respect to your god and do it yourself!

 

[yfcarer]

If you can't convince people with good work you're doing, company is not worthy of you, get out ... the 'way of leaving' is upon your decision

And the faith? Show respect to your god and do it yourself!

I like the final words: Show respect to your god and do it yourself!

 

[Gerry]

Again, It is NOT my intention to judge you!

It is my opinion that 'happy with his religous beliefs' will get him into the kind of trouble that will land him in the wrong eternal home.

Sure sounds like judgment to me!

The sooner it all ends the better, IMHO!

A missionary with a death wish??


anon_guy: your girl-friend is right - don't get married to placate your boss. He's poking his nose where it doesn't belong. From what you've said, it's not just your living arrangements that he disapproves of, but your partner as well. Make job-hunting a priority.

Once you've put the boss and his church behind you, maybe the rev. RussB would like to take up your old position.

 

[TimothyMoulder]

The Evangelical says, "Live your Life Right!"

The Catholic says, "Live your life like an apology!"

The Presbyterian says, "Mind your own business, you gossipy busy-body." (I'm Presbyterian)

Now that we have that settled, you may not have a state case, but you possibly have a federal one. There was a group of Evangelicals who got into alot of hot water a few years ago for commanding their employees be evangelicals as well - convert or get out. Clear-cut case of religious discrimination. Remember, the freedom of religion clause in the constitution was not added to deal with Shinto or buddists, it was to keep Congregationalist christians from forbidding baptists to buy land in late 1700's Georgia (a fact far too many baptists conveniently forget these days.)

Look, I find myself wondering what sort of backwater hiccup of a town you are stuck in, but above all, this is both outrageous and absurd. Social mores change over time and conditions, and there is clear evidence in the Bible that God has, in the past, made allowance. The arguement that you are "living in sin" is not only outdated, it's irrelevant.

Now the bad news. You are in a truely wretched situation here. The boss in this case is a penny theocrat with ten pounds of Pompous and an ounce of power - but it's all the power to go around. Examples of his sort of blasphemy (and he will pay high for this) abound in both the bible and history. But as long as he remains big fish in his little pond, his arrogance and pride will go unchallenged.

Bail out. It truely is all you can do. If you stay, it will not end here.

And in your prayers, forget asking for forgiveness on this. Ask what David did - "Deliver me from the hands of mine enemies."

TM

 

[Rube]

...should we pass around the offering plates now?...

 

[rsdoran]

So here's my message in plain language - stop cluttering the thread with your religous beliefs. Anon_guy is asking for career advice, not religous advice.

Technically that is not what he asked either, at the bottom of the first post

So with this long winded story out, from an anonymous account of a regular member of the forum, I’d like to hear reactions from people who are a bit more removed from this.

That post and the second post reference the church, religion, and anon was the one that mentioned "living in sin".

In this letter the AC made various claims about me and my personal life, some were true (we are living ‘in sin’)

With that said RussB gave his reaction to the situation and offered what he felt should be done. The religious aspect had already been introduced into the situation.

RussB is correct on another issue too, its appears it is ok for y'all to say what you want but if he makes a reply that involves religion then it is/was WRONG to do so?

The main point is that some of us live in what are called "free countries", this implies we have the freedom and right to believe in religion and talk about it.

JUST BECAUSE YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR WHAT RUSSB SAYS DO YOU WANT THAT RIGHT TO GO AWAY?

My personal opinion, and little knowledge, on religion has been stated before in another post therefore I will not repeat it.

 

[jtn]

I haven't replied because I see both see both sides of the story. I'll try to fumble through what I think:

1. I believe that anyone who starts up there own business has a right to run it however they see fit. If workers are not happy they will move on and the owner will have a hard time keeping productive people around and his business will suffer. I have always thought that business policies are based on this. I have also had the belief that most people would rather complain than go through the effort to find something better, so the boss isn't motivated to change his ways - compaining is free in his eyes, training new people is not. I know there are laws about protecting employees and in some cases are needed, but I mostly believe in the peoples power of choice being the main policing mechanism.

2. I don't think anyone has right to tell me what to do on my own time, if my own time doesn't affect there time - such as coming to work hung over or dragging *** from too little sleep. But again, a person has a right to run their business as they see fit and if I don't like the way they run their business I wil leave.

3. If I was in this case I would mention that I am not happy with what went down and drop it. If you make a big scene about this you could end being fired and then (depending on your financial position) you could be in a position where you have to take the first available job - never a good situation to be in. I would keep my mouth shut and start seriously looking for a new job, while staying in good graces there in case I can't find one that is better. Regardless of the outcome I would leave because he has proven that he does not mind using his business to impose his beliefs on your private life. And lastly I would leave because he has planted a seed of distrust between you and him, and has planted a seed of discontent between you and your future wife. Without a little weeding those seeds could take root and grow, sometimes without you even realizing it until things have become a problem. Your marriage and family should be the highest priorities in your life, work situations need to change to accomodate having a strong and healthy family life.

I come from a small southern town also and know how small towns work. When a job offer worthy of leaving for comes along I would just tell him that a job with better opportunities came along (you don't need to expand and tell him it's the opportunity to live your personal life as you see fit), he'll know why your really leaving without you telling him but saying it to his face is liable to just burn him up and cause you not to get good references in the future. If he is the kind of person that will use his stature to try to sway your life there is a good chance that he is the kind of person that will get ****ed when a subordinate is bold enough to end around him.

 

[ellisma0607]

I am not a lawyer

Just to reiterate what most have already said:



Your personal life is none of his business, unless it conflicts with the job. You “living in sin” with your fiancé is not a conflict with his business – How is he losing customers or money from this?



I would talk to a lawyer, not to sue, to understand your rights. I also work in Texas, which is a right to work state. He can find other reasons to fire you – such as you wore the wrong color shirt today. I understand you want to keep the peace and you like your job, but you may need to face reality – he may fire you over this. Protect yourself and your family by discussing your rights with a lawyer. Honestly, you can tell that is where his mindset is by demoting you. Changing your title is a demotion – face it. I hope you haven’t signed anything in regards to this demotion. Based on what I have seen, these title changes are a sign.



Document, document, document. I would start a folder on this, and print all work e-mails on the topic. Create journal detailing your closed door discussions – just in case. If possible, get a copy of that letter. I also wouldn’t discuss your personal situation with your boss anymore. This will help you later and will be worth the time.



Please, you deserve better than this. Being the first job out of college for you, I am sure it is scary to look for a new job, and cause trouble by creating discontent and change. It will be worth it.



Good luck and congratulations.

 

[TimothyMoulder]

...should we pass around the offering plates now?...

If you want to shoot me a fiver, feel free, but make no mistake where it's going - Exxon...

TM

 

[TimothyMoulder]

I respect Russ' opinion, and I have no problem with him expressing it here. I may not agree on every point, but I'll not forbid him, or anyone to speak up.

 

[MarkTTU]

I appreciate everyone's comments including Russ's. I posted this here to get various different people's opinion and that is exactly what I have gotten and I appreciate the thought that has gone into all of the replies. This all comes down decisions my fiancé and I must make for ourselves and we both know that.

I for one say leave Russ alone already... Obviously this guy wants to hear all of the opinions.

anon_guy, there is a lot here I would personally agree with and some I wouldn't. You are correct though, make sure you and your fiance are happy and then do what is best/right for ya'll.

 

[Beggar]

If you want to shoot me a fiver, feel free, but make no mistake where it's going - Exxon...

TM

As a shareholder, may I say "Thank you for your patronage?"

 

[Sliver]

Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

 

[Andy S]

Hello anon guy and I’m really sorry to hear of your predicament.

News of your engagement should be shouted from the rooftops and you should feel incredibly proud that you have found the right woman to settle down with.
It sounds to me as though you have a great family and that you are doing the right thing.

I believe that everyone has there right to an opinion, but there’s a big difference between an opinion or simple point of view and what your boss has done.

Putting it into context he’s taken issue with your home life and has therefore taken it upon himself to make your life at work difficult.

I’m assuming that you have continued to carry out your job reliably, professionally and to the best of your ability?
If so he can’t have any complaints whatsoever. It’s pathetic.

But life is not fair. And because he’s the boss, he can rightly run his company the way he sees fit. His actions may have been influenced by the church, especially in view to how he should be perceived to act upon receiving such a letter. But whatever his reasons are, they are wrong, especially in the year 2006.

Whatever decision you make, and even though it probably doesn’t feel like it at present, you must understand that you have done nothing wrong whatsoever!

Take up the advice of others in terms of where you stand legally, don’t rush into anything and although you must feel like telling him right now what to do with his job, this is probably not the best cause of action for your future career or that of your family, which let’s face it is all that matters.

On reflection, and even though I don’t know all the facts or anything about where you live or your community life, I would seriously be looking for the exit.
They say that the grass isn’t always greener, but believe me in 2006 and with what you have told us, I’m sure it will nice and lush for you and your family.

Finally I think you have been very brave to construct this post and to me it shows that you are prepared to listen to all opinions even though I feel that some people’s views on this issue are the whole reason why you have been forced into writing this post in the first place.

Good luck in finding the green grass,

Andrew

 

[TimothyMoulder]

As a shareholder, may I say "Thank you for your patronage?"

This would be akin to the blackmailer offering to thank his victim But let's not hijack this thread into oil, it's extremely interesting as it stands. I was just grumbling.

TM