rgurin
Member
Just some food for thought...
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a
university campus when one said, "Where did you get
such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own
business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.
"Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The
engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must
have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello,
George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper
replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
last year, so we always let them play for free
anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said,
"That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm
going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see
if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer
said, "Why can't they play at night?
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers
and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build
weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it
work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting
degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate
with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at
all the joints. "Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections." The last one
said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't
fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't
have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up
the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up
again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog
then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do
ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the
frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll
stay with you for one week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm
an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a
talking frog, now that's cool."
