I recently proposed and got engaged to a woman I’ve known for many years. She has three kids (I have none) to which I have been “uncie” for most of their lives. We have been living together for a few months and at home all is well and everyone is extremely happy with life. We’ve, of course, been discussing when, where, and what type of wedding to have since we got engaged with an emphasis more on where than anything else because she does not want to get married here (nor do the kids).
I work for a very small company and have known the boss most of my life as I attended church with he and his family when I was a child. A couple of weeks ago my boss blind sided me by pulling me aside to show me a letter he’d received at home from what I’ll refer to as an anonymous coward (AC) claiming to be a church member (at the time he claimed it to be one of many, I now believe that there has only been one such letter). In this letter the AC made various claims about me and my personal life, some were true (we are living ‘in sin’) and some were not. Regardless he used this to lay his feelings on marriage before cohabitation and what my moral failings are. I bit my tongue, went through a rough chronology for him (at his request), and told him that like anyone else there are some things I would do differently (I wasn’t specific what things) if I could go back in time, but that I probably would be in the exact same situation I’m in now even if I could change those things I wish I’d done differently. At the time I asked him to let me know of any more AC type letters as this letter really got under my skin. The next day I told him that after thinking on it for an evening I really didn’t care to hear about any more ACs that didn’t have the guts to say to my face what they say behind my back.
My fiancé was none too pleased with any of this and took real issue with accusations made in the AC’s letter that she is a bad mother (woman scorned and all that). She also announced that we were not getting married to make my boss happy (no kidding hon).
So after a couple of weeks life in our house was getting back to normal and we’d started discussing the where part of the wedding again and for the most part everyone was happy again (the kids did not know about any of this).
Yesterday my boss sends me an email (from his office 40 feet away) asking if I’m going to update him on what we discussed after work a couple of weeks ago. I replied to his email saying that I fully intended to, but that there’s really nothing to report; to which he replies that at my earliest convenience we need to discuss options.
After thinking on it for a little bit, and waiting for him to return to his office, I walked in and closed the door (his door is never closed). The short version of what we talked about is that he wants to remove the word ‘manager’ from my title because he has an issue with new young impressionable employees (interns) that are starting in a week or so seeing me as a role model. He also said that he thinks if we’re really in love and this is the “real deal” then no one including him should stand in the way. Titles don’t have much meaning in our company nor our industry so removing the word ‘manager’ from my title isn’t really a big deal to me though I think he was probably thinking this would eat at my ego some.
Today I replied to an email sent by my boss to our design group about a new product idea. My boss replied to me individually to explain that my technical comments were we ‘appropriate’, but that other comments I made about possible markets were not appropriate per my ‘new responsibilities.’
So with this long winded story out, from an anonymous account of a regular member of the forum, I’d like to hear reactions from people who are a bit more removed from this.
Thanks guys.
I work for a very small company and have known the boss most of my life as I attended church with he and his family when I was a child. A couple of weeks ago my boss blind sided me by pulling me aside to show me a letter he’d received at home from what I’ll refer to as an anonymous coward (AC) claiming to be a church member (at the time he claimed it to be one of many, I now believe that there has only been one such letter). In this letter the AC made various claims about me and my personal life, some were true (we are living ‘in sin’) and some were not. Regardless he used this to lay his feelings on marriage before cohabitation and what my moral failings are. I bit my tongue, went through a rough chronology for him (at his request), and told him that like anyone else there are some things I would do differently (I wasn’t specific what things) if I could go back in time, but that I probably would be in the exact same situation I’m in now even if I could change those things I wish I’d done differently. At the time I asked him to let me know of any more AC type letters as this letter really got under my skin. The next day I told him that after thinking on it for an evening I really didn’t care to hear about any more ACs that didn’t have the guts to say to my face what they say behind my back.
My fiancé was none too pleased with any of this and took real issue with accusations made in the AC’s letter that she is a bad mother (woman scorned and all that). She also announced that we were not getting married to make my boss happy (no kidding hon).
So after a couple of weeks life in our house was getting back to normal and we’d started discussing the where part of the wedding again and for the most part everyone was happy again (the kids did not know about any of this).
Yesterday my boss sends me an email (from his office 40 feet away) asking if I’m going to update him on what we discussed after work a couple of weeks ago. I replied to his email saying that I fully intended to, but that there’s really nothing to report; to which he replies that at my earliest convenience we need to discuss options.
After thinking on it for a little bit, and waiting for him to return to his office, I walked in and closed the door (his door is never closed). The short version of what we talked about is that he wants to remove the word ‘manager’ from my title because he has an issue with new young impressionable employees (interns) that are starting in a week or so seeing me as a role model. He also said that he thinks if we’re really in love and this is the “real deal” then no one including him should stand in the way. Titles don’t have much meaning in our company nor our industry so removing the word ‘manager’ from my title isn’t really a big deal to me though I think he was probably thinking this would eat at my ego some.
Today I replied to an email sent by my boss to our design group about a new product idea. My boss replied to me individually to explain that my technical comments were we ‘appropriate’, but that other comments I made about possible markets were not appropriate per my ‘new responsibilities.’
So with this long winded story out, from an anonymous account of a regular member of the forum, I’d like to hear reactions from people who are a bit more removed from this.
Thanks guys.